The shower beats down steam & heat
Blessed relief from the deep freeze
And that’s good for now.
You’re okay
You’re alright
Close your eyes
And let the beat
Of the water repeat
The words so you believe
You’re okay
You’re alright
Repeat anything enough
And it comes true
Bullshit with a straight face
And anyone will believe you
You just need to commit
To memory like back in school
Where you had to remember, not Google
Commit
To the back of your mind
Like the tables we memorized
And then left far behind
Commit
To forgetting
To ignoring
To leaving it all behind
To getting better
And better
And better
Till nobody says
Are you okay?
Should you get help?
You’ve been really down
Get out of the funk now!
Commit
To hiding the existence
To avoiding the reactions
To dedication
Perseverance
And sheer
Fucking
Willpower!
I'm fine!
I'm alright!
I'm only washing my hair
That's why it took so long in there
Some extra grooming
Something unwanted needed removing
You’ll believe it
If you repeat it enough
And you must
You must learn
To forget
Forget about the dark; forget it exists
Forget the endless nights fearing dawn
Looking for a way out of it all
Forget the feeling of being at the top of a fall you can predict
That hermetically sealed bubble slowly closing in
Forget the insecurities
The painful memories
Forget how it feels
In fact, douse the heat
Of how you feel
And push everything back into deep-freeze
The water is ice cold now
The geyser ran out of warmth
Trying to drum some into the arctic cold
That just refuses to leave
So I give up & let the icicles in
Beating down till I’m tingling
And I don’t know if I’m in pain
Or just numb now
You’re okay
You’re alright
My teeth chatter in time to the beat
As the water repeats
The mantra back to me
You’re okay.
You’re alright.
Repeat anything enough and you believe it
Bullshit with a straight face & you're sure to win
Going through the motions
Ignoring the emotions
I don't know when the argument
Ends
And reality begins
You're okay.
You're alright.
