Backwards

Retrospect
The act of looking behind you, and cringing at all the rookie stuff you pulled.
Of saying proudly, that you regret nothing! While making new lists of things you'll never do again on pain of death.
The feeling in the pit of your stomach that something bad is going to happen. Because you know it already did.

I wouldn't change a thing (But really I would)
I'd make myself taller, slimmer, and more sorted.
I'd write that answer this time, on the sheets they gave me.
I'd call him back.
I'd actually get off my ass and meet my friends so that when they get married, I know more about their lives.
Maybe this time, when I look back, I'd be more poised, less broken, and the cracks won't show.
Maybe this time, I won't be tempted to rhyme retrospect and regret.
But then, maybe I won't.

Retrospect and regret have an internal rhyme
For some reason.
Maybe the next time, I'd wish I hadn't taken the call, hadn't written the answer sheet, and had gotten hammered that one time.
Maybe I'll always look back and cringe.
Maybe the rhyme scheme
I've internalized
Never ends.