The Epitome

A life in rewind

“Babe, I don’t mean to tell you what you already know, but maybe you need some more nutrition, hai na? I know you’re more than capable of eating for two on a good day, but you know you have to do that every day, right now na?”

She rolled her eyes at him, but obediently pulled the plate closer again. “But this is boring food! There’s no taste to this!”

“Haan na, baby, itna teekha tum kha sakti ho, baby thodi khaayegi…”

“Why? I’m sure she’ll love some achaar… Let’s try na?”

He dropped his head into his palm and laughed, “We’ll try tomorrow. For now, eat.”

She grumbled and picked up the spoon, turning towards him for another complaint, but he was too quick.

“Mmm, now you can take your time with your food, and I’ll get a nice nap” he settled comfortably on her extended legs, a pillow between her thigh and his head, “Go on, take your time.”

She sighed, sniggering to herself, and got down to finishing her food.

***

‘The mornings came too quickly these days’ she thought to herself, as she stretched and heard him already putting on his belt. The unmistakable clink of the buckle told her she’d missed the morning banter.

“You’re not coming back in, to bed?”

 He glanced at her in the mirror and smiled at the routine they’d carried on for years “No, sweets, it’s late today. Gym mein thoda zyaada time lag gaya. But I’ll come home early, and we’ll do coffee and Bournvita”

“Can I have beer?”

“Can I first have my baby?”

“Take her now only, she’s a bore, just like you. She wants to go to work.”

“Just like me, or just like you?”

“I’m a lazy ass, you’re the one who won’t come back to bed.”

“Mommy darling, you’re dying to get back to work, and you know it. You’re probably already drafting an intro mail for your daughter and setting her task list up. Okay, I’m off. Kiss?”

“Ew, no! I need to brush.”

He leaned down and kissed her belly, then grinned up at her “I wasn’t asking you.”

She began to laugh.

***

The door opened and his perfume drifted in to her before his voice did. He was on the phone.

“Hunjee, abhi ghar aaya hoon. Just got in.”

She mumbled into her pillow “You can get off the phone now, at least.”

His voice smiled out from her earpiece, and his breath tickled her shoulder “But then I won’t hear your pretty voice say ‘I love you’ over the phone na?”

She growled in response “I love you”

“Okaayy bye…”

His hand was rubbing her back now “What happened, bad day?”

“No. I’m just surrounded by idiots who don’t know their hands from their feet.”

“So, bad day.”

He was making noises with glasses and all.

“No, no! Wait! I’ve made you filter coffee. Thandi hai, bas thodi garam kar do.”

He paused, and turned to her with a frown “Why are you making me coffee at night? Don’t tell me you have work to do yaar…”

She grimaced. He wasn’t going to be happy “Not much… Just a little…”

“Yaar toh din mein kar lete na, why would you leave it for after I get home?”

“Arre abhi shaam ko aaya…”

“So, we’ve talked about this na, why would you take up a project at night?”

“It was important…”

“No yaar, you do your project, then I’m going to sleep. I’m tired.”

He walked off, cup of coffee left on the table, a plate of food in his hand.

“Scoot.”

He looked up at her “Jaldi kaam khatam karo, and sleep. Don’t waste time. Again, you’ll stay up late, and be tired tomorrow.”

“No, I’m done.”

“Done with work?”

“No, work is there, I’ve pushed delivery time to tomorrow evening.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to spend time with my husband. He’s quite sexy, you know.”

***

“Pastels look gorgeous on you”

She stole a side-glance at her almost-husband “You know what a pastel is?”

He nodded, under pretence of straightening his glasses “Like the signal is a green, the pista ice cream is a pastel green; I remember.”

She stifled her laughter as her father gave her a look from across the mandap. Probably not the best time to get in touch with her sense of humour.

“Babe, suno na…”

“Hmm?”

“Aapko mujhe prompt karna padega. I have no idea what anyone is saying. Thoda distracted hoon na. Those pastels and all.”

“Damn it, I was hoping the fam would do that bit. Mujhe ghanta pata hai, what to do…”

They both stopped laughing as the pandit gave them a dirty look this time.

***

“Listen.”

“Hunjee?”

“If I quit my job, pick up my Rani of Jhansi sword and come off to your city, and convince your family, would you seriously consider spending the rest of your life with me?”

“Sure. But where would you get the sword from? And who would pay your rent?”

“Arre that I’ll manage. And rent maane, I’ll take over your business, siphon off funds as expenses, and make it vastly successful within the financial year, so you’ll never find the money taken out.”

“Oh, accha. But market down hai, and regulations are against us.”

“Haan, but I’ll probably pull a Richard Gere from Pretty Woman. Have you seen Pretty Woman?”

“What is the Richard Gere reference, but?”

“You’ve not seen Pretty Woman?”

“I HAVE, I don’t get the Richard Gere reference.”

“Oh. He basically buys big companies that are floundering and sells them off bit by bit.”

“So, you’re buying me out and selling me off?”

“Not you ya. Your company. And I’m not buying, I’m going to seduce you to sign it off to me.”

“You know it’s not really MY company to sign over to you.”

“Older people love me. That’s my concern, not yours.”

“Aight. Let’s see. My signature will come last, if you succeed in the rest.”

“Haan, but then you’ll spend na, rest of life with me? Even if I dissolve the company?”

“Kyun nahi? Raja ban ke jeeyenge.”

“I’m serious.”

“Huh?”

“I’m serious.”

“About?”

“Will you consider marrying me?”

“Babe, we talked about this…”

“I don’t give a fuck. Do you want to?”

“Yes”

“BRB, getting my sword.”

***

 

She packed up his shirt, and his t-shirt. And the note he had sent her when she’d won her major milestone. And the box from the chocolates. And put them all the corner of the cupboard.

The house still resonated with his voice. The city still threw scents of his presence at her. Her phone was strangely lighter now, and her inbox strangely empty. The ding of texts wasn’t as fun to hear anymore.

Maybe it was a coincidence that the rains had started when the final page of their storybook had been turned. Perhaps some lucky little girl in the future would read the child-friendly, happily-ever-after version of their story. Their original story was more like the German old wives’ tale version, with a gruesome ending. At least, it was gruesome for her.

‘It’s not like you’re a mermaid or a secret princess, really, what did you expect?’

She shook her head at her momentary lapse of practicality, and mentally put away the silly flights of fancy away with the clothes and the past few mementos she couldn’t bear to throw away.

Scents fade away faster than people do. But they hurt more. Scents remind you about love in a weird, integral way that kicks you in the gut and lifts you up, at the same time.

The collar, crook of the arm, and mid-torso of the shirt in her hands no longer smelled of him. It no longer reminded her of being engulfed in the protective bubble of their fairy-tale.

***

“Suno na.”

“Hmm…?”

“I think we need to talk…”

Echoes

My cigarette in my hand, I walked along as my feet slowly led me into a progressively darker side of town. Common sense told me to go back.
This was uncomfortable. This was too familiar. There were too many memories teeming in my thoughts. The cigarette that had been keeping me calm was now all gone, so I was walking towards a bad dream without backup.
"You never walk into a potential danger zone without backup."
I knew the voice was inside my head, but I stiffened nonetheless.

He and I had been near inseparable since a gang-brawl in the academy had brought is together. We weren't just batch mates any more, we were brothers. Rather, had been...
"Should listen to him. You know he's never wrong..." all my ghosts were awake again.
"Walk on, now that you're here." My own voice surprised me. I hadn't expected it at this time and place. It broke the pervading stillness of what seemed to be a flashback, if it weren't for the stabbing pain reminding me that there was no going back. I justified things by saying it was time for answers and I needed a confession, at best, but I had my service revolver against my hip, which was telling me different stories.
I disgusted myself.
Like a puppet on a string, my feet led me towards a building I had vowed never to look at again. I knew beyond a doubt, there was no going back, there was no avoiding this now...
She opened the door as unfazed as she had always been. I could have sworn she smiled at me for a split second before "Why?"
"It's time, don't you think?" I was a lot calmer than I had thought I would be.
I strolled into the room, instinctively avoiding the same mess, walking to the same place, picking up a cigarette (was it the same?) and turning to her for a light.
She had closed the door and was ready.
This was habit for the both of us. We were each playing a part.
"How're you doing, Darling?"
Her sneer was invisible, but clearly audible. I didn't answer. She didn't expect it.
I looked around, confirming nothing had changed. Nothing had.
"Haven't you replaced him yet?" I wasn't playing with gloves on.
She deserved none of that.
Her eyes snapped with irritation as she looked at me, wondering, I'm sure, why the bug was here again.
"I don't need to have someone around..."
"That's right," I broke in, "Because the inheritance was enough to let you retire..."
She slammed her hand down on the table, trying for one last stab at innocence... "I didn't know..."
I stood up, the strain of being in his space, seeing his things, and seeing her here a little too much to handle. "Sure you didn't. You also didn't cry on his shoulder, you didn't pretend to be afraid about 'what would happen', you didn't know he had a will..."
She threw her lighter against a wall, all bets were now off...
"Yes, darling, I know nothing. I don't know why you're here. I don't know that you're scared to be here. I don't know how much this is affecting you..."
She was walking towards me, backing me against a wall... "I don't know why you're backing away..."
I could smell the smoke on her breath, smell my brother's perfume on her body.
I closed my eyes and saw the look in his eyes as she had stepped away, leaving the bullet a clear path to his heart.
It didn't matter what the bullet did, she had killed him before it could touch him.
She nuzzled my neck, slowly working her way to my lips.
"Open your eyes, darling..." I could hear the mockery in the voice of the woman who set my brother up to die.
The woman who knew he had left his money to "My daughter, because we're all she has and who knows how long two cops will live?"
The woman who had made sure that I was wound around her little finger, who told me she loved me. She had been the distraction, the reason I hadn't been his backup.
"Remember this? We had been here that day, remember?" Her voice was laughing at me now, enjoying the freedom of not pretending.
"He walked into it for his little girl... Daddy, they're hurting me... Daddy I'm scared... All it took. He tried to call... But he couldn't wait for ever... His little girl, after all."
She turned away, whipping her hair in my face, laughing... "Never walk into a danger zone alone... Oops! Looks like he forgot..."
I had followed her that day, after she left me, something had been nagging at me...
And I had seen her run into my brother's arms, seen the man get into position, seen her step away... And out of the way, as my brother fell under fire he could never have avoided.
She was still laughing.
She never stopped laughing.
When my bullet entered her chest, it all ended, mid laugh... An endless laugh that would never stop echoing.

Dance With Me

I braided my hair with precision I had learnt from insistent school teachers.

The cool night breeze stopped momentarily as the bus paused to let people off. I looked at the face next to mine, outlined against the streetlights.

"Dance with me..."

She looked at me reflecting every bit of the light around, wondering, I could clearly see, if I had finally lost my last logical thought process. I laughed at her surprise and grabbed her hand, running to the front, leaping out of the bus as it pulled away.

I could hear the conductor yelling abuses at us, but it didn't matter.

I loved this spot. It was along the seaside, breeze in your face... "Perfect for a dance, I say..." I spun her into a turn, laughing at her surprise.

She turned like a floating leaf.

I didn't expect such grace when caught off-guard, but she spun around and stopped perfectly. I pulled her back towards me, feeling a kick in the gut as she rolled against my chest, turning in my embrace.

Those eyes, those glowing pools of magic, looking up into mine, she ran her fingers down my neck, one hand still in my grasp.

"Let's dance."

There was a good chance she had telepathically transferred the thought to me, because nothing broke the silence of the spell she was weaving.

She twisted out of my arms, one hand anchoring her to me, as she drifted around me.

She led me, twirling step by step towards the pavement, where she proceeded to land, like a petal settling on the ground.

I turned her once more, wanting to see the precise magic of her movements before she stopped, and for the first time, she stumbled. Her grimace of self deprecation was possibly the most alluring thing I'd seen. She didn't like not being perfect, she didn't like making a mistake... I caught her around the waist, marveling at the sheer feeling of the body I held.

She turned to look at me. The shadows on her face kept me from reading the stories her eyes were telling me, but I didn't need to see a thing. I knew before she reached up to my face what was to follow. Her fingers played along my waist, and the other hand played with my braid. What the shadows didn't hide was hidden when she undid my hair with a deliberate hand, coming closer to me till all either of us could see were shadows, all I could feel was her hand on my neck, and her lips on mine.

War Poetry

The transistor belted out speech after speech about the same old things.

Patriotism, valour, war, death and more death.

It was supposed to be encouraging, it was supposed to inspire those left at home to go on with life. The crackling electrical surge that was passing, characteristic of those times, sighed in despair. These two-legged creatures were so strange. They sent their men away even though they didn't want them to go. The men went to this 'front' even though they were scared of never coming back. They all hid their true feelings, only the children catching the mood and crying, a mixture of fear and confusion.

The surge had travelled all over the warring world. It had seen the same scenario everywhere. It had seen the late night despair of the young men, little more than children, in the trenches, it had felt the deep, hidden anguish of every telegram, every letter home. It picked up what the ears of creatures attuned to the highest frequencies missed. It passed the silent tears of futility, the blank silences of surety on the airwaves. It was affected, it was deeply scarred, but unlike these humans, it was doomed to go on forever. It would never get to die.

Mobilization

Underground, the armies assembled.

The had already split up into their battalions and were positioned according to the instinctively formed battle plans of the higher command.

Above them, huge trees twisted and contorted and tossed their heads in strange ways. The rumbling had already begun in the distance..

This couldn't have been more perfectly arranged if it had been staged in front of a green screen.

The perfect setting, timing... It was coming.

The humans were exulting in their accurate predictions, little knowing that they'd known about this day forever, underground..

They'd been training for the day that they would finally survive the human race. And then the centuries, the millennia of being crushed and swatted and trampled and sprayed at would all be made up for. Their antennae twitched in excited anticipation, their exoskeletons gleamed.

It was coming.