Echoes

My cigarette in my hand, I walked along as my feet slowly led me into a progressively darker side of town. Common sense told me to go back.
This was uncomfortable. This was too familiar. There were too many memories teeming in my thoughts. The cigarette that had been keeping me calm was now all gone, so I was walking towards a bad dream without backup.
"You never walk into a potential danger zone without backup."
I knew the voice was inside my head, but I stiffened nonetheless.

He and I had been near inseparable since a gang-brawl in the academy had brought is together. We weren't just batch mates any more, we were brothers. Rather, had been...
"Should listen to him. You know he's never wrong..." all my ghosts were awake again.
"Walk on, now that you're here." My own voice surprised me. I hadn't expected it at this time and place. It broke the pervading stillness of what seemed to be a flashback, if it weren't for the stabbing pain reminding me that there was no going back. I justified things by saying it was time for answers and I needed a confession, at best, but I had my service revolver against my hip, which was telling me different stories.
I disgusted myself.
Like a puppet on a string, my feet led me towards a building I had vowed never to look at again. I knew beyond a doubt, there was no going back, there was no avoiding this now...
She opened the door as unfazed as she had always been. I could have sworn she smiled at me for a split second before "Why?"
"It's time, don't you think?" I was a lot calmer than I had thought I would be.
I strolled into the room, instinctively avoiding the same mess, walking to the same place, picking up a cigarette (was it the same?) and turning to her for a light.
She had closed the door and was ready.
This was habit for the both of us. We were each playing a part.
"How're you doing, Darling?"
Her sneer was invisible, but clearly audible. I didn't answer. She didn't expect it.
I looked around, confirming nothing had changed. Nothing had.
"Haven't you replaced him yet?" I wasn't playing with gloves on.
She deserved none of that.
Her eyes snapped with irritation as she looked at me, wondering, I'm sure, why the bug was here again.
"I don't need to have someone around..."
"That's right," I broke in, "Because the inheritance was enough to let you retire..."
She slammed her hand down on the table, trying for one last stab at innocence... "I didn't know..."
I stood up, the strain of being in his space, seeing his things, and seeing her here a little too much to handle. "Sure you didn't. You also didn't cry on his shoulder, you didn't pretend to be afraid about 'what would happen', you didn't know he had a will..."
She threw her lighter against a wall, all bets were now off...
"Yes, darling, I know nothing. I don't know why you're here. I don't know that you're scared to be here. I don't know how much this is affecting you..."
She was walking towards me, backing me against a wall... "I don't know why you're backing away..."
I could smell the smoke on her breath, smell my brother's perfume on her body.
I closed my eyes and saw the look in his eyes as she had stepped away, leaving the bullet a clear path to his heart.
It didn't matter what the bullet did, she had killed him before it could touch him.
She nuzzled my neck, slowly working her way to my lips.
"Open your eyes, darling..." I could hear the mockery in the voice of the woman who set my brother up to die.
The woman who knew he had left his money to "My daughter, because we're all she has and who knows how long two cops will live?"
The woman who had made sure that I was wound around her little finger, who told me she loved me. She had been the distraction, the reason I hadn't been his backup.
"Remember this? We had been here that day, remember?" Her voice was laughing at me now, enjoying the freedom of not pretending.
"He walked into it for his little girl... Daddy, they're hurting me... Daddy I'm scared... All it took. He tried to call... But he couldn't wait for ever... His little girl, after all."
She turned away, whipping her hair in my face, laughing... "Never walk into a danger zone alone... Oops! Looks like he forgot..."
I had followed her that day, after she left me, something had been nagging at me...
And I had seen her run into my brother's arms, seen the man get into position, seen her step away... And out of the way, as my brother fell under fire he could never have avoided.
She was still laughing.
She never stopped laughing.
When my bullet entered her chest, it all ended, mid laugh... An endless laugh that would never stop echoing.